Showing posts with label Conduct-disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conduct-disorder. Show all posts

Walking on Thin Ice


Walking on Thin Ice


Step by step, they waddled
On the ice in this cold weather
They remind her of her daughter
and son, since they were toddlers

12-months apart, they're friends
From beginning through the present
They did same things together
They played with one another

Same interests, same friends
Same troubles, she can't recommend
What they did, she can't comprehend
She's sad, she can't pretend



I spotted this birds on my morning jog. They're the little things that made me smile in between my gasping for breath. :)

What a beautiful morning.

Little Things Thursdays, Poem Parenting Teens


Ten Things of Hopeful and Thankful


Hey, hey, hey.  It is another thankful week.  I look forward to writing this post because of this upbeat thankful blogging group who inspire me.  Here are my reasons to be thankful (and hopeful).

Receiving this award on my atypical no-break room lunch day made up for my exhaustion.  I got nominated for the Daisy Award as an exceptional nurse as viewed by a family member of a patient. I assume a family did as we tend to get very sick patients in my unit (intensive care) where patients can hardly breathe, let alone write. This made my day and the next. I hope I can make more patients and family happy.

Daisy Award Nominee

21 Days of Life With Teens as a Single Parent.



New year, new cheer.  I try to highlight the cheers.  They are here, but I cannot ignore the sad stuff though.  Read on.

1. Jan. 1—watched the fireworks at countdown in downtown with daughter and Paul.
2. Jan. 1-8-- Daughter ran away.
3. Jan. 8-- She showed up in court, promised to be good and reform in front of judge.
4. Jan. 9 –PAYDAY.
5. Jan. 10—Continuing education with nursing group in a nice café as daughter watched movie in a theater nearby.

No Energy to Move? Get Up Anyway

Shrink Jokes postcard
Do You Want To Talk About That? Postcard by McHumor
Shop for Psychiatrist Postcards online at Zazzle.com
See more Psychiatrist Mugs

I feel depressed, again. I almost did not show up to see my shrink. I was thinking she was just going to make me talk anyway. I have no energy for that.

I am supposed to be doing better but I went back to my old ways, being disorganized, stressing about my teens, and not doing much at home when I am off from work. My son’s sentencing is tomorrow. I dread his “come back,” from the juvenile hall. Ay naku, I know, what a horrible parent I am to say that.

You see, I feel that I lost all my parenting tools. They all broke from my son’s steel-defiant ways. I am not ready for him to come home.

No Energy? Just Get Up and Show Up

I showed up to my appointment anyway, five minutes late. I had to answer that annoying list of questions from Kaiser Box again. It is that box that gives you a score on your anxiety and depression level. I know I regressed from the last time. I beat myself about this because I should be getting better. However . . .

“Hi, Carin. How are you?”

“OK.”

 As she closed the door behind us, she asked, “OK, what happened.” She already saw my anxiety and depression scores.


I spilled my story. She gave me advice.

 My son is out of control. She confirmed that. I need help. My family needs help. Please help me, God.

I felt a little better after the session but not enough to get my energy for the work training. It is not mandatory. I am skipping it. I need to relax. So here, I am on my blog, I go, twe r aking, learning some codes, changing the images ninety times, and trying to monetize the site. Perhaps I should start a Diaz Family Shrink Fund. Perhaps if I include my dogs as needing help, more people will donate.

Oh well. What did they say? This too shall pass.

I hope my teens acting out passes before I pass out, permanently.

Oh yeah, I did something fun with my daughter: retail  grocery therapy. Food colors brighten my spirit. We even got some Japanese food to which my daughter said (about the seaweed salad), “I am glad this looks better than the ones at the beach.”

Smiling, I said,  “I am glad, too.” I thought it was funny. Daughter has no idea the salad is colored to make it bright and pretty for consumers.

Seaweed salad, sushi, California rolls
Seaweed, California rolls, and sushi.

Inside Asian Store nurse blog
Asian Store
 Do bright colors make you feel happy too?


From Mad to Sad: Calming Negative Feelings


Anger Issues Mad Woman Yelling Blog


It started out fair, my day, that is.  I just lost a day’s pay.  I called in to work that I cannot make it today. 

My daughter needed to go to the orthodontist for a loose bracket and wire poking the inside of her cheeks.  

It had been two weeks.  Between my schedule and Dr. Ortho’s who works for Perfect Teeth Monday and Fridays only (not even that, more like sporadically for me, I just found out), I could not get her in earlier.  Dr. Ortho has vacation (like twice a month), has  meetings, works in no-one-knows-where-other office.  Whatever.  Her supposed-to-be back up orthodontist in another location refused to see my daughter earlier because it was “not an emergency.”

“So what is emergency in orthodontia?”  I asked the receptionist on the phone.

“Tootache, infection, bleeding . . . “

“Oh, so brackets or wires poking in the cheek is not one of them?”

“No, sorry.”

The fix took five minutes of the dental assistant’s time.  The orthodontist did not even come out to see her so I asked the assistant to tell the Dr. Ortho I need to speak to her in private. “I am very upset,” I said.

When I turned "Incredible Hulk"

She came out shortly.  She talked to my daughter, not recognizing my presence, asking how my daughter was doing . . . 

I guessed we were not speaking in private so I spilled my anger in the common room with other patients and parents.

I told her in not-so-calm voice it was not acceptable to leave my daughter without help when she was not available.  In short, she apologized and told me she will talk to the other orthodontist who refused to help my daughter.  I will also get a discount, she says, for my daughter’s discomfort and trouble.

My anger turned to sadness when I got home.  My son’s probation officer notified me that he would have my son arrested for violating his bond and probation requirements (not leaving the house).  My son wears an ankle monitor, so he has a record of my son leaving out of range.  It was beyond my control.  I wish I could handcuff my son to the wall as I sleep or work but I could not.  So back to the Juvenile Hall he goes as he wait for his court date.  *sigh*

So at home I pray.  I pray for my son’s safety  and healing.  I include my daughter as well.

Since I joined the Catholic Health Association’s (CHA) 100 Days of Prayer, I included this prayer too.  Please pray with me for the 2015 100th anniversary of the founding of the CHA. 100 Days of Prayer is the inaugural event of the association's Centennial observance.

Here is the prayer for the week of  Nov. 10, 2014

For Persons Suffering from War 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
John 14:27

Gracious God, we pray for all persons suffering from war.  May they be held in your loving care and protection and given the strength to endure great suffering and hardship.

Transform the hearts and minds of all those who perpetuate violence and oppression.  Grant wisdom to world leaders in advancing efforts toward world peace; May they not be compromised by self-interest and blind indifference.  We ask all this through the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes and in the name of your Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, now and forever.  Amen.

Calming Negative Feelings


I did not do much today.  I just made comics.  Comics calms me down as well as tweaking this blog. Sounds immature? Well, it works for me.  Better than drinking alcohol, yes, or crying like crazy.

May you all have a good day.  What are you praying for today?


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Seal Your Lips With EOS

It is one of those slow Sundays at work.  I did my twelve hours at work, clocked out early, and went home with both of my teens present at home.   That was the highlight of my whole day.  Pathetic but true.

Do Not Call the Cops