Thanksgiving Stress: How to Keep Cool

Friday, November 28, 2014 0 Comments A + a -

With open enthusiasm, I got up early from bed yesterday on a Thanksgiving Day greeted by a twin sink still with dirty dishes from last night and old food drying out. My son “did” the dishes last night as the assigned task for the day. He did a partial job, only filling the dishwasher halfway. I also found smashed flashlight that I saw still intact before. The bulb now lies on the carpet and the other parts scattered. I am not gonna lose, I am not gonna lose it . . . 

 I assume he got mad because I took his phone last night until he started working in the sink to do the dishes.

“It was an accident.”

 “Accident? The next time we have an accident in your hands, I will file charges against you. You cannot stay here at home with me and ruin stuff. You still have not fixed the two holes in the wall you made.”  Ok, now stop. Keep the lecture short, Carin.

He lost money for haircut this month over this.

He did the rest of the dishes this morning, ate, and left without saying goodbye. When I realized he left, I called him on the phone. He answered saying he is going to a friend’s house and will be back by six p.m. The friends’ address, he would not disclose. However, what could I do but remind him he had to talk to me before leaving. *sigh*

At least, my teen daughter thanked me for the Thanksgiving meal, you know, the meal I prepared the day before—beef/stuffing meat loaf, mashed potatoes, sesame bean sprouts, and the spiced pumpkin cake she baked. Humble meal it was but we enjoyed it and we did not kill ourselves in the preparation.

This time of the year, we spent it with Paul’s family. We had a mini potluck and a big turkey. This year we kept our children apart for the reason that my teens may not be a good influence to his children for the recent actions my teens get involve in. I felt some sadness. Last year was better.

For some reasons, the morning flipped and turned sour. I did not serve anything sour but my daughter’s tongue turned acid to the point that she was telling me to “shut up, stop talking.” With this, she lost her cellphone privileges. I kept my cool.  She got punished by talking to me that way.

I offered to take her to the new dog’s park anyway so Velvet and Snowball could run free and mingle with the other woofies. Surprisingly, she came along with a better mood.

At the Dog's park.
Where's everybody?
A pack of tail wagging dogs, both big and small, sniffed and licked us. I got more licking, I thought, because I had a pocketful of treats. This was the greatest greeting of the day. We did not have relatives here in the area. No relatives flew over either to join us for Thanksgiving. But these mutts, they fill the void. In addition, guess what? I did not have to cook for them. And lastly, I made at least two creatures very happy.

Sharing chair with dogs, parenting blog
Before I retire, just hanging out with dogs (and teens)
in the living room, smiling, before I found out my
daughter sneaked out of the house.
Back home, daughter earned her phone back. Son got home early. (Good.  But I still disabled his WiFi access for taking off this morning unannounced).  Then we ate and just hung out in the living room until the time came to retire, so I thought.

I got up at about midnight wondering why the music played so loud downstairs. I followed the sound to my daughter’s room, and her bed was empty. I know it was not because she had to go Black-Friday-shopping, because she left her wallet--me.

Ay naku, here we go again. Heart racing, I texted, messaged, and e-mailed some people. I checked Facebook and found that her “unapproved” boyfriend who was the same person as my son’s “unapproved” best friend posted today asking who wanted to share weed with him. He had the stuff, he said. Good grief. I could only imagine. Anyway, I texted him and his grandmother too. I alerted the police my daughter went missing. Half an hour later, she was back in bed. She entered though her bedroom window. She just took a walk outside, past midnight, in the cold. Yeah right.

Carin's Designs Doggie T-shirt
Design dog clothes at
I reminded her that it was unsafe for her to take off like that. She is re-grounded and I took the phone back. I kept my cool.  I did not burst in tears.  I did not stress my vocal chords screaming in anger.

Still wary, I asked her to sleep upstairs close to me.  She refused.  I threatened to not give her a birthday gift.  She said she did not care. That is one less big ticket item on my December shopping list then. Her birthday is next month.

That was my Thanksgiving. I am still thankful they are both back in the house. I snatched them back from the alien and they now lie safe under my wing.  And, equally important, I kept my cool.

For now.

Today is a brand new day.  I start anew.  I am alive. Stress has not killed me yet and I can still blog.

So how was your holiday?  I hope it was better than mine.
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