Learning From My Teen: #1 When Sad, Eat Fat

Saturday, September 27, 2014 2 Comments A + a -

Parenting Teen Blog Eating Out breakfast smoothie
Part of the fatty smoothie--a cure for sadness.
Why sad? 

It has been a stressful day, stressful week, actually, for my fourteen-year old.  Her volleyball team lost two games against two different schools, and then, there was the stress from visiting her brother, my fifteen-year old in the juvenile detention center.

He asked me to bail him out.  I have not bailed him out for the fear that he will run away again and get into more trouble.  You see, he ran away sixteen times in the past, ditched his court dates, and violated his probation requirements.  The sixteen times do not include the occasions I did not report him missing because I found him.  It was hard on my daughter to hear and see this plea.  He became tearful.  I felt crushed.  My first-born was unhappy with me.  He asked me to think it over.

“I don’t want to be here forever.”

“Son, this is temporary,” until the next court date.  God knows what happens next.  Our fate is in His hands, the judges’ hands, and partly my son’s hands.  Meanwhile, I will still apply for public defender.  As a single parent and sole supporter of my family working as a nurse, we never qualify for public assistance.  His dad gives moral support and it ends there.  I shoulder everything.

Looking at the bright side, it is not the worst place in the world for him.  Inside the facility, after we passed five secure entrances, we were greeted with spacious open area with a lighted playground on the left—basketball court and volleyball court.  He said food comes in good supply.  They eat three full meals plus two to three snacks a day.  They have an indoor gym, a library, and a school.  He missed school since the beginning of sophomore from being a runaway.  At least, here, he attends school.  He earns points for each subject.  He gets at least three a day.  One course is in behavior management.  He earned enough points that he got to talk to his father (out-of-state) over the phone when calls are not usually allowed.

“I want to get out of here. I will go back home and go to school.”

Oh, my defiant child. Who loves to stay in jail, anyway?  Whose fault is it that you were arrested?  You lied to me many times that I cannot hold on to your promises.

My daughter and I left the super-secured detention center after a one-hour visit.  We both felt drained.

“Let’s eat at Dennys,” I offered as we passed it on the drive back home.

“OK.  I want to get a strawberry smoothie.”

And so she did. 

Learning From My Teen

When sad, eat fat, fatty food, that is.  It tasted so reach and creamy and made just right, yup, full of whipped cream on top.  We split it, of course—40/60.  Can you guess who ate the 40?  The one who can easily gain weight, that’s who.

The strawberries in  our smoothie added extra boost. According to Kerri Glassman, RD, the vitamin C in berries, including strawberries,  has been proven to be helpful in fighting stress. In a study, German researchers tested 120 people to say a speech and then do hard math problems. They observed lower blood pressure and levels of cortisol after the stressful tests. 

In the end, we both wore a smile.  What did I learn from my fourteen-year-old today?  

When sad, eat fat.  Fat can wipe away the sadness in your face.

Please note, it is not a daily cure, just once in a while. Twice a week, maybe?
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October 1, 2014 at 5:00:00 PM MDT delete

Smart daughter you have! Sounds like your son is just where he needs to be right now. Do not cave to his demands or fall for his promises. Let him deal with the consequences of his actions. Hopefully he truly learns from this experience.


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