No Energy to Move? Get Up Anyway

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I feel depressed, again. I almost did not show up to see my shrink. I was thinking she was just going to make me talk anyway. I have no energy for that.

I am supposed to be doing better but I went back to my old ways, being disorganized, stressing about my teens, and not doing much at home when I am off from work. My son’s sentencing is tomorrow. I dread his “come back,” from the juvenile hall. Ay naku, I know, what a horrible parent I am to say that.

You see, I feel that I lost all my parenting tools. They all broke from my son’s steel-defiant ways. I am not ready for him to come home.

No Energy? Just Get Up and Show Up

I showed up to my appointment anyway, five minutes late. I had to answer that annoying list of questions from Kaiser Box again. It is that box that gives you a score on your anxiety and depression level. I know I regressed from the last time. I beat myself about this because I should be getting better. However . . .

“Hi, Carin. How are you?”

“OK.”

 As she closed the door behind us, she asked, “OK, what happened.” She already saw my anxiety and depression scores.
I spilled my story. She gave me advice.

 My son is out of control. She confirmed that. I need help. My family needs help. Please help me, God.

I felt a little better after the session but not enough to get my energy for the work training. It is not mandatory. I am skipping it. I need to relax. So here, I am on my blog, I go, twe r aking, learning some codes, changing the images ninety times, and trying to monetize the site. Perhaps I should start a Diaz Family Shrink Fund. Perhaps if I include my dogs as needing help, more people will donate.

Oh well. What did they say? This too shall pass.

I hope my teens acting out passes before I pass out, permanently.

Oh yeah, I did something fun with my daughter: retail  grocery therapy. Food colors brighten my spirit. We even got some Japanese food to which my daughter said (about the seaweed salad), “I am glad this looks better than the ones at the beach.”

Smiling, I said,  “I am glad, too.” I thought it was funny. Daughter has no idea the salad is colored to make it bright and pretty for consumers.

Seaweed, California rolls, and sushi.

Asian Store

 Do bright colors make you feel happy too?